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Archive for the ‘anger’ Category

channeling anger

i’m trying to find more productive ways of dealing with things that piss me off … the stupid crap that shouldn’t bother me (?) but it does anyways…

you know, that stinky stuff that you don’t know how to voice without sounding like an asshole… i guess i’m allowing myself to sound like an asshole here… yet still in a more creative manner.  all those things that are taboo because i’m supposedly so enlightened that i’m beyond thinking such things… will go here.  ultimately i hope to find someway to be integrated in a new and exciting way into my non-electronified-webpaged-virtual life.  jeez… i think i’m riding too much on something that only exists in electronic abstraction.

anyways…

i went into the sprint store today in the castro to look at replacement phones…

i guess to a couple of the sprint employees i looked homeless or like some unsavory character intent on stealing their bolted down display models (if it weren’t such a hassle, maybe i would).  the second i walked in, some sales person barks something at me and gives me a questioning look, you know “do you need something…?”, something to that effect.

“no i’m okay” seems straightforward enough to me.  the uncomfortable squinty face person retreats to the back of the store, where stands and watches me.  after maybe five minutes of looking at various phones and ignoring the person pretending to inventory the powercord stock about four inches away from me (the stock seems to follow wherever i go),  i find myself being grilled by some very important sales person.  you know, “what is it that [i] want?” and so-forth.  after an extremely angry confrontation between the two of us, wherein i need prove that i was indeed a customer and my rather embarassing moment (for myself anyways) finding myself complaining to the manager, i left the store.  (not before mrVIP@sprint hastily offered to credit my account $50 after i went to his boss and complained, which i summarily refused since i didn’t trust that he wouldn’t fuck up my account)

i happen to know that this funny little ball of suspicion and self-import at the sprint store hires boys from the interweb.  i just about sung it at the top of my lungs in the middle of the sprint store, but instead found myself feeling that, besides it being potentially compromising for myself in the long term, i felt like i’d be throwing spite at a rather ridiculous man, who cohabitates with me in a rather ridiculous world.   but, caught up in the moment, i did happen to drop in his ear that i knew things about him.  sigh, the things i wish i was big enough to not care about.  anyways, perhaps his world is rich and full, yet in my head i envisioned him, this older white portly gay self-important yet utterly so insecure man, as bouncing back and forth like a ping-pong ball between his little computer kiosk at the sprint store and his little computer at home where he spent many long nights scouring craigslist for a boy to bore to death with his photos of his trip to hawaii he made in 1994 before spanking some boy’s ass raw.

i guess i could make some oblique commentary on life in a capitalist society… but i won’t.

i was initially overwhelmed with anger after i left… the first thing that occurred to me was to write out my anger… what a novel idea.  i felt better afterwards, anwyays.

stupid-old-man

note my poor spelling,  atrocious handwriting and juvenile prose (verse?).  that’s all me, unfiltered by techno-hoo-diddy.

stupid-old-man-21

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